The good news: Chester and Vivi are back. They're both okay. A little beat up, but alive. :) Thank God.
The neutral news:
Scott's run-in with a stalker whom I'm henceforth going to refer to as Joker Proxy made me think that maybe I should call my brother and see if he knows anything about the proxy that tried to nab him. The conversation went something like this:
[Skipping over the normal-grade small talk because you don't want to read that]
Me: Anyway, I was wondering...did the cops tell you anything about the guy that jumped you?
Brother: Seriously? That's why you called? I thought that sort of thing freaked you out, Phobia-Girl.
Me: Ha ha. Some dumbass tries to jump my brother and I'm not allowed to be curious?
Brother: It's just not like you, that's all. But it doesn't matter. I don't know anything. The cops don't know who the guy is, but I think they were gonna have a shrink look at him.
Me: Ah. Well, if you do find out anything, could you let me know?
Brother: Why so curious?
Me: Because...[brief struggle for a retort] Come on, dude, it takes a special grade of stupid to take on a Marine. I at least want to know if the guy is all there. It would explain a lot.
Brother: Damn straight. [laughs] But fine. If I find out anything, I'll let you know. Okay?
Me: Okay. Thanks.
[More small talk ensues.]
No, I'm not telling him about Slender. I don't want him involved in this, too. He was already nearly involved. Full involvement and...well, let's just say he would probably go Rambo on Slender's ass if he found out I was in trouble and I cannot picture that ending well.
Speaking of, Slender showed up outside my window again once night hit in full force. He's still there. What he doesn't realize is that colds, while weakening, just make me really pissy. So I'm not really scared of him right now. More like extremely pissed off. If I didn't think it would end poorly, I would have already thrown my garbage at his faceless head. The asshole...
Anyway. Stay safe, you guys,
~Alora
Monday, January 31, 2011
Not a Lot of News
Vivi went after Chester, but there's no news on what happened. According to twitter, she'll (hopefully they'll) tell us all what went down later.
Scott was being hacked by either the Joker or the narmiest stalker/proxy ever, but the police got him, so it's all good.
As for me, I was feeling well enough to go to class, but it was *torture*. I swear, I think that Slender (if he's controlling the cold) deliberately let up on the cold just so that I could go to class and suffer. And it worked. I kept thinking all day that if I was just a LITTLE bit sicker, I could be in bed sleeping all day.
Skinny son of an inter-dimensional whore.
Anyway...I might try to timeline Zeke Strahm's second blog, depending on how I feel. It doesn't have as many entries as some others, so I might be able to get through it. Or maybe I'll just end up blowing off the world at large and sleeping some more.
Stay safe, you guys,
~Alora
Scott was being hacked by either the Joker or the narmiest stalker/proxy ever, but the police got him, so it's all good.
As for me, I was feeling well enough to go to class, but it was *torture*. I swear, I think that Slender (if he's controlling the cold) deliberately let up on the cold just so that I could go to class and suffer. And it worked. I kept thinking all day that if I was just a LITTLE bit sicker, I could be in bed sleeping all day.
Skinny son of an inter-dimensional whore.
Anyway...I might try to timeline Zeke Strahm's second blog, depending on how I feel. It doesn't have as many entries as some others, so I might be able to get through it. Or maybe I'll just end up blowing off the world at large and sleeping some more.
Stay safe, you guys,
~Alora
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Laughing and Crying
Reasons why I'm crying:
1. I feel like shit right now. Have since yesterday. Headache, stomachache, whole nine yards. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or if he's doing this, but the fact still remains that I feel like shit.
2. I'm worried about Jeff and the fact that I'm sick is making me more emotional than usual.
3. He's safe. Thank God, he's okay.
Reason why I'm laughing:
Oh my bob. That was the stupidest thing he could have done. The STUPIDEST. Did you even DO your research?! Did you think first?!
My brother is a marine, you freaking retard. He was on a base FULL of marines. Did you really think you could get away with that?!
Okay, explanation time. I got a phone call from my brother (yes, I have a brother) like, five minutes ago. He said that some guy in his twenties wearing a mask jumped him at work this morning. Tried to knife him. And apparently didn't realize he was taking on our nation's finest. It still took two other guys to subdue him, but he got a righteous ass-kicking.
Chew on that, you ass-munching proxy.
And yes, that's what he was. Older Brother also mentioned that the guy went ballistic once they caught him, screaming something about the operator and gaining his master's love. He just thought the guy was nuts. I know better.
And here's what I don't get. Slender didn't need to go after my brother. Hell, I have an anxiety disorder that's making this whole thing 1000x worse. I know I'm putting on my brave face, but he must know how terrified I am. He doesn't need to go after people I know to break me. I'm not like you guys. He can break me all on his own. I admit this openly. So why go after my brother?
My current theory is that the proxy did it of his own volition. He mentioned earning his master's love, right? Maybe he thought that if he somehow hurt me through my brother, that would make Slender appreciate his services or something. Maybe he thought that they're just going after families now, after what happened to...
Dammit, I feel guilty now. I know there's no reason for it, but I do.
Jeff, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.
Anyway...the point is, I don't think it was part of Slender's "let's f*ck with Alora" plan. He doesn't have to go past me or this sphere of bloggers to do that. He knows that. Everything he's thrown at me (the symbols, the guy who might be an agent, watching me at night, the sickness or exploitation of it) says that he knows that. He just has to keep this up. If he feeds on fear, I'll be like a four-star restaurant. Add that to the fact that I worry about you guys, and a lot of you are going through hell...
My head hurts.
I might not be able to keep up the research for a while. I can link up some stuff under the "Archives" tab if you guys find anything you think should be put in there, but the timeline is on hold for now. In fact, I think a lot of my version of "research" (read: data collection) is going to be on hold. I'm having a hard enough time writing this post. I seriously feel like shit. I need a break. I'm sorry. Once I stop feeling like my head is going to explode, I'll be back. Promise.
Jeff...Jeff, I'll be praying for you, okay? I don't know how much stock you put in that, but I will. I'm so sorry. Don't be afraid to walk away from this for a while, okay? You need time to mourn. No one will blame you for it.
Stay safe, guys.
~Alora
1. I feel like shit right now. Have since yesterday. Headache, stomachache, whole nine yards. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or if he's doing this, but the fact still remains that I feel like shit.
2. I'm worried about Jeff and the fact that I'm sick is making me more emotional than usual.
3. He's safe. Thank God, he's okay.
Reason why I'm laughing:
Oh my bob. That was the stupidest thing he could have done. The STUPIDEST. Did you even DO your research?! Did you think first?!
My brother is a marine, you freaking retard. He was on a base FULL of marines. Did you really think you could get away with that?!
Okay, explanation time. I got a phone call from my brother (yes, I have a brother) like, five minutes ago. He said that some guy in his twenties wearing a mask jumped him at work this morning. Tried to knife him. And apparently didn't realize he was taking on our nation's finest. It still took two other guys to subdue him, but he got a righteous ass-kicking.
Chew on that, you ass-munching proxy.
And yes, that's what he was. Older Brother also mentioned that the guy went ballistic once they caught him, screaming something about the operator and gaining his master's love. He just thought the guy was nuts. I know better.
And here's what I don't get. Slender didn't need to go after my brother. Hell, I have an anxiety disorder that's making this whole thing 1000x worse. I know I'm putting on my brave face, but he must know how terrified I am. He doesn't need to go after people I know to break me. I'm not like you guys. He can break me all on his own. I admit this openly. So why go after my brother?
My current theory is that the proxy did it of his own volition. He mentioned earning his master's love, right? Maybe he thought that if he somehow hurt me through my brother, that would make Slender appreciate his services or something. Maybe he thought that they're just going after families now, after what happened to...
Dammit, I feel guilty now. I know there's no reason for it, but I do.
Jeff, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.
Anyway...the point is, I don't think it was part of Slender's "let's f*ck with Alora" plan. He doesn't have to go past me or this sphere of bloggers to do that. He knows that. Everything he's thrown at me (the symbols, the guy who might be an agent, watching me at night, the sickness or exploitation of it) says that he knows that. He just has to keep this up. If he feeds on fear, I'll be like a four-star restaurant. Add that to the fact that I worry about you guys, and a lot of you are going through hell...
My head hurts.
I might not be able to keep up the research for a while. I can link up some stuff under the "Archives" tab if you guys find anything you think should be put in there, but the timeline is on hold for now. In fact, I think a lot of my version of "research" (read: data collection) is going to be on hold. I'm having a hard enough time writing this post. I seriously feel like shit. I need a break. I'm sorry. Once I stop feeling like my head is going to explode, I'll be back. Promise.
Jeff...Jeff, I'll be praying for you, okay? I don't know how much stock you put in that, but I will. I'm so sorry. Don't be afraid to walk away from this for a while, okay? You need time to mourn. No one will blame you for it.
Stay safe, guys.
~Alora
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
New Theory
Okay, so now that my head's on straight (naps = the best idea ever), I would like to present this theory based in Medieval superstition.
You know that old practice where if they suspected you of being a witch, they'd throw you into a lake? Well, the reason for that was because water was believed to have an inherent purity to it. Thus, if you were a witch or otherwise "evil", you would be repelled by the water and float.
This got me thinking...Slendermanweighs less than a duck is evil, and, if Scott is right, conducts electricity to an extent that it might be his weakness. Water conducts electricity too. So maybe water is his weakness? Or at least part of his weakness? There's also the older superstition that ghosts and other spirits can't cross running water, and while Slender is not a ghost by any means (I think), he is definitely supernatural, so maybe the Water Weakness still applies? I dunno. It's just one thing I thought up.
I might start work on the timeline tonight or tomorrow. Also, need a "plan of attack" so to speak now that he's back. And for the record, no, I don't know if he's outside my window. I have the shades drawn. I am not looking outside. And no, I am not trying to shove him out of sight, out of mind. I need sleep tonight and knowing for sure that he's out there will rob me of that. (That and I'm still a little freaked out that he might try to peek while I'm changing. I know he's a humanoid abomination who wants to kill me, but Ted Bundy was a serial murderer too, AND a class-A pervert. You can never be too careful.)
Stay safe, you guys.
~Alora
Happiness Aid: Behold the cutest. Puppy. Ever. (This week)
You know that old practice where if they suspected you of being a witch, they'd throw you into a lake? Well, the reason for that was because water was believed to have an inherent purity to it. Thus, if you were a witch or otherwise "evil", you would be repelled by the water and float.
This got me thinking...Slenderman
I might start work on the timeline tonight or tomorrow. Also, need a "plan of attack" so to speak now that he's back. And for the record, no, I don't know if he's outside my window. I have the shades drawn. I am not looking outside. And no, I am not trying to shove him out of sight, out of mind. I need sleep tonight and knowing for sure that he's out there will rob me of that. (That and I'm still a little freaked out that he might try to peek while I'm changing. I know he's a humanoid abomination who wants to kill me, but Ted Bundy was a serial murderer too, AND a class-A pervert. You can never be too careful.)
Stay safe, you guys.
~Alora
Happiness Aid: Behold the cutest. Puppy. Ever. (This week)
So Damn Tired
"Careful to leave a trail of something other than breadcrumbs as you go down the rabbit hole. The inhabitants tend to be hungry and the crumbs may just serve as an appetizer."
Thage said that to me a few posts ago. And was completely right, as usual.
I guess I should tell you about everything that happened yesterday. It started off pretty normal, classes and all, until...
Well, remember when I did a post saying that I went into one of my classes and there was an operator symbol on the chalkboard? I had that same class again today, so I went in...and the whole damn chalkboard was covered in operator symbols. I nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Trying not to react was the hardest thing I've ever done.
To make matters a thousand times worse, I'm just sitting there waiting for the professor when someone leans over and whispers, "He's coming to get you, Barbara..."
It was that creepy kid, the tall skinny one I kept thinking was Slender. He was grinning like a shark. I'm not sure if he's just being an ass, or if he's an "Agent" or whatever (thanks to Scott for writing the post about the different levels of proxy-dom, BTW). Either option sucks.
So, I spend the rest of the day just feeling generally uneasy, I finally get back to my dorm room to veg, and...the lights aren't working.
Now, keep in mind, it's after sunset by now, so my nictophobia is in full swing. Coming back to my room only to find that the freaking lights don't work is like a big "eff you" from the universe.
And then It Got Worse.
I'm on the phone with the campus maintenance people, trying to get one of them over here to find out what's wrong with my lights, and as I happen to glance out the window...he was there. Slender. Just standing there, staring up into my window. I freaked. And by freaked, I mean "screamed really loud into the poor maintenance guy's ear and dropped the phone".
Fortunately, I was able to explain it away as me being startled by someone, and they did fix my lights. Unfortunately, Slender stood outside my window all. Damn. Night. I did not sleep, at all.
I also refused to look out the window every three seconds to see if he was still there. I stayed at my desk, watched videos of cats doing stupid things, and tried to act like I didn't know he was there. I know my freak-out probably ruined the illusion, but that was all I was going to give him. How I managed to keep from freaking out is beyond me. Liberal dosages of LOLcats, I guess.
And, this might sound weird, but for some reason I kept thinking, "He had better not watch try to watch me change."
Slenderman: Murderer and utter pervert.
Anyway, he left sometime this morning. I was able to get about an hour of sleep, and I'm going to try to take a nap later, but right now I'm high on sleep deprivation and caffeine. We're talking major coffee breath here. That was probably TMI, but I'm too tired to care.
I'll try to do more Keeper-y things later, but I have a few ideas if you guys want to leave some feedback.
1. Timeline
Basically this would involve massive amounts of archive binging and setting up a timeline of events. I'm not sure how helpful it will be, it might be good for checking for patterns to Slender-Events.
2. Terminology
Basically just a separate page that links to other posts that explain things a lot better than I could.
3. Mythological Explanations
I know a lot of people are considering mythological implications behind Slender, and I figured I could just throw in my two cents. I already have a theory about Slenderman and water, but again, I'm really tired, and if I tried to write it out now I'd probably just sound like an idiot.
As for an update on how the other runners are doing, it looks like Kate is getting the help she needs, but...I'm really worried about Andrew. And I haven't read the entire blog yet, but I think this woman is going to need our help. There's a little girl involved, guys. We should just be on standby in case things go wrong. Or worse than they're already going.
Anyway, I'm going to see if I can rest a bit before I have more classes. I'll try to get back on the topic of stopping Slim Jim once my head is on straight.
Stay safe, guys.
~Alora
Thage said that to me a few posts ago. And was completely right, as usual.
I guess I should tell you about everything that happened yesterday. It started off pretty normal, classes and all, until...
Well, remember when I did a post saying that I went into one of my classes and there was an operator symbol on the chalkboard? I had that same class again today, so I went in...and the whole damn chalkboard was covered in operator symbols. I nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Trying not to react was the hardest thing I've ever done.
To make matters a thousand times worse, I'm just sitting there waiting for the professor when someone leans over and whispers, "He's coming to get you, Barbara..."
It was that creepy kid, the tall skinny one I kept thinking was Slender. He was grinning like a shark. I'm not sure if he's just being an ass, or if he's an "Agent" or whatever (thanks to Scott for writing the post about the different levels of proxy-dom, BTW). Either option sucks.
So, I spend the rest of the day just feeling generally uneasy, I finally get back to my dorm room to veg, and...the lights aren't working.
Now, keep in mind, it's after sunset by now, so my nictophobia is in full swing. Coming back to my room only to find that the freaking lights don't work is like a big "eff you" from the universe.
And then It Got Worse.
I'm on the phone with the campus maintenance people, trying to get one of them over here to find out what's wrong with my lights, and as I happen to glance out the window...he was there. Slender. Just standing there, staring up into my window. I freaked. And by freaked, I mean "screamed really loud into the poor maintenance guy's ear and dropped the phone".
Fortunately, I was able to explain it away as me being startled by someone, and they did fix my lights. Unfortunately, Slender stood outside my window all. Damn. Night. I did not sleep, at all.
I also refused to look out the window every three seconds to see if he was still there. I stayed at my desk, watched videos of cats doing stupid things, and tried to act like I didn't know he was there. I know my freak-out probably ruined the illusion, but that was all I was going to give him. How I managed to keep from freaking out is beyond me. Liberal dosages of LOLcats, I guess.
And, this might sound weird, but for some reason I kept thinking, "He had better not watch try to watch me change."
Slenderman: Murderer and utter pervert.
Anyway, he left sometime this morning. I was able to get about an hour of sleep, and I'm going to try to take a nap later, but right now I'm high on sleep deprivation and caffeine. We're talking major coffee breath here. That was probably TMI, but I'm too tired to care.
I'll try to do more Keeper-y things later, but I have a few ideas if you guys want to leave some feedback.
1. Timeline
Basically this would involve massive amounts of archive binging and setting up a timeline of events. I'm not sure how helpful it will be, it might be good for checking for patterns to Slender-Events.
2. Terminology
Basically just a separate page that links to other posts that explain things a lot better than I could.
3. Mythological Explanations
I know a lot of people are considering mythological implications behind Slender, and I figured I could just throw in my two cents. I already have a theory about Slenderman and water, but again, I'm really tired, and if I tried to write it out now I'd probably just sound like an idiot.
As for an update on how the other runners are doing, it looks like Kate is getting the help she needs, but...I'm really worried about Andrew. And I haven't read the entire blog yet, but I think this woman is going to need our help. There's a little girl involved, guys. We should just be on standby in case things go wrong. Or worse than they're already going.
Anyway, I'm going to see if I can rest a bit before I have more classes. I'll try to get back on the topic of stopping Slim Jim once my head is on straight.
Stay safe, guys.
~Alora
Monday, January 24, 2011
Assistance Required
How much do you guys know about proxies?
Just FYI, I'm completely fine (so far); it's someone else. I got into a comment-conversation with another Runner (CrazedKateness, or Kate) who thinks she may have been proxy'd. Apparently, she came into physical contact with Slenderman and ever since then has been exhibiting the following symptoms:
"-"Strange" nightmares
-Sleepwalking
-Intensified hearing
-Intense headaches
-Dizziness
-Sandra-angst (if that counts)"
I'm not sure if this is a sign that she is/is being Hallowed, or if it's just the regular-grade Slender-Stalking induced crap (a lot of it reminded me of what little I saw in Marble Hornets, and I'm pretty sure HE wasn't Hallowed). Anyone know if these symptoms indicate she's being Hallowed or not/if there's anything she can do about it? You can leave it as a comment here or post your advice over on her blog.
Any and all help is appreciated. I know Kate is (rightfully) freaked out by the whole thing. I'd rather not loose someone else, even if I just met them literally three minutes ago.
Thanks again, guys.
~Alora
Keeper
P.S. I feel so weird putting that under my name...wow. I'm a Keeper now.
P.P.S. For those of you who are wondering, H!Slender if my word for the Slenderman who's following Sandra, in keeping with my theory about there being at least two of the things.
Just FYI, I'm completely fine (so far); it's someone else. I got into a comment-conversation with another Runner (CrazedKateness, or Kate) who thinks she may have been proxy'd. Apparently, she came into physical contact with Slenderman and ever since then has been exhibiting the following symptoms:
"-"Strange" nightmares
-Sleepwalking
-Intensified hearing
-Intense headaches
-Dizziness
-Sandra-angst (if that counts)"
I'm not sure if this is a sign that she is/is being Hallowed, or if it's just the regular-grade Slender-Stalking induced crap (a lot of it reminded me of what little I saw in Marble Hornets, and I'm pretty sure HE wasn't Hallowed). Anyone know if these symptoms indicate she's being Hallowed or not/if there's anything she can do about it? You can leave it as a comment here or post your advice over on her blog.
Any and all help is appreciated. I know Kate is (rightfully) freaked out by the whole thing. I'd rather not loose someone else, even if I just met them literally three minutes ago.
Thanks again, guys.
~Alora
Keeper
P.S. I feel so weird putting that under my name...wow. I'm a Keeper now.
P.P.S. For those of you who are wondering, H!Slender if my word for the Slenderman who's following Sandra, in keeping with my theory about there being at least two of the things.
Fizz and the Initiative
Fizzbomb is dead.
...
Really, I think that's all that needs to be said on the matter. Fizzy's gone.
Jeff is starting up something called the Isabel Initiative, for all the people who want to fight you know who in her memory.
I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm no fighter. Never have been. I don't think I'll be much help, but...
You know what? Screw this.
My name is Alora. I love the colors black, pink, and purple. I listen to "emo" bands, I love fantasy movies, and I am not running.
I was once stalked by the Slenderman.
I think he's back.
I don't care.
I'm not going to let this son of a bitch control my life. He can't take away who I am.
I'm sorry I can't help kill him for you, Fizz. I'm not a fighter. I never have been. But for once in my life, I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be terrified, but I'm not going to run. That's all I have to offer in your memory. I hope it's enough.
Rest in Peace, Isabel.
Defiant to the end we hear the call
To carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
~Alora
...
Really, I think that's all that needs to be said on the matter. Fizzy's gone.
Jeff is starting up something called the Isabel Initiative, for all the people who want to fight you know who in her memory.
I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm no fighter. Never have been. I don't think I'll be much help, but...
You know what? Screw this.
My name is Alora. I love the colors black, pink, and purple. I listen to "emo" bands, I love fantasy movies, and I am not running.
I was once stalked by the Slenderman.
I think he's back.
I don't care.
I'm not going to let this son of a bitch control my life. He can't take away who I am.
I'm sorry I can't help kill him for you, Fizz. I'm not a fighter. I never have been. But for once in my life, I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be terrified, but I'm not going to run. That's all I have to offer in your memory. I hope it's enough.
Rest in Peace, Isabel.
Defiant to the end we hear the call
To carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
~Alora
Friday, January 21, 2011
Insert Flat What Here.
What.
What.
Really, all I can say is What. That sums this up pretty nicely.
~Alora
P.S. Oh, hell, why did I watch this? I mean, it's pretty and very well done, but now I am both depressed and freaked out. o.o
Also, why would someone make this?! I'm pretty sure that this is scarier than the real thing! LOOK AT HIS LEGS, THAT'S NOT NATURAL. D:
What.
Really, all I can say is What. That sums this up pretty nicely.
~Alora
P.S. Oh, hell, why did I watch this? I mean, it's pretty and very well done, but now I am both depressed and freaked out. o.o
Also, why would someone make this?! I'm pretty sure that this is scarier than the real thing! LOOK AT HIS LEGS, THAT'S NOT NATURAL. D:
Hell
Just...hell. Shit shit shit.
Darby (Citizen Anonymous) is back, and so is Badass Zeke but Viv...she's been taken.
I'm literally shaking right now.
Damn it.
Scott told me on another post that there's something coming...and, I'm going to be honest. I've been feeling uneasy ever since I got back to campus. Not in a "being followed" way, but a "calm before the storm" sort of way. Something's coming, I can tell, and it's going to be...well, big.
A lot of people are saying that if you're being followed you should run. This is going to sound crazy, but...I don't want to run. I don't want to fight, but I don't want to run, either. I'm not suicidal, but...I dunno...if I run, he'll chase me. If I fight, he'll kill me. If I don't do anything...I dunno. In my mind, I feel like just carrying on will maintain the status quo, and that I'll be okay.
It's also telling me that I already paid for this semester, so running would be a total waste of money, but I only listen to that part of my brain when I'm grasping at straws.
On a totally unrelated note, I saw Creepy Skinny guy from class and mistook him for you know who THREE TIMES YESTERDAY. If he tries that again today, I might punch him, because I am so high-strung it's not even funny.
I wish I could do something about all this. But...I can't. I'm not a fighter. I just am. I'm passive, and I sure as hell don't know if that's going to kill me or save me in the end.
Anyway, enough of my whining. I have to run. Classes and all.
Please stay safe guys.
~Alora
ETA: They found Viv. Thank God, Viv's okay. I feel a lot better now...
Darby (Citizen Anonymous) is back, and so is Badass Zeke but Viv...she's been taken.
I'm literally shaking right now.
Damn it.
Scott told me on another post that there's something coming...and, I'm going to be honest. I've been feeling uneasy ever since I got back to campus. Not in a "being followed" way, but a "calm before the storm" sort of way. Something's coming, I can tell, and it's going to be...well, big.
A lot of people are saying that if you're being followed you should run. This is going to sound crazy, but...I don't want to run. I don't want to fight, but I don't want to run, either. I'm not suicidal, but...I dunno...if I run, he'll chase me. If I fight, he'll kill me. If I don't do anything...I dunno. In my mind, I feel like just carrying on will maintain the status quo, and that I'll be okay.
It's also telling me that I already paid for this semester, so running would be a total waste of money, but I only listen to that part of my brain when I'm grasping at straws.
On a totally unrelated note, I saw Creepy Skinny guy from class and mistook him for you know who THREE TIMES YESTERDAY. If he tries that again today, I might punch him, because I am so high-strung it's not even funny.
I wish I could do something about all this. But...I can't. I'm not a fighter. I just am. I'm passive, and I sure as hell don't know if that's going to kill me or save me in the end.
Anyway, enough of my whining. I have to run. Classes and all.
Please stay safe guys.
~Alora
ETA: They found Viv. Thank God, Viv's okay. I feel a lot better now...
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Quick Post
Nothing has really happened this week (well, aside from the fact that I suddenly have a lot of reading to do), but I did have two freak-out moments.
The first was really sort of stupid. I thought I saw you know who out of the corner of my eye...BUT it was just the tall weird kid from one of my classes. This had better not be a regular thing with him.
The second is...a little scarier.
So I enter one of the classrooms, happen to glance at the chalk board, and...insert heart attack here...there was an operator symbol on the board.
And this wasn't even a math class, where I could have waved it off as being a tensor product symbol. That and it was the only thing on the board, so even if I *was* in a math class it would still be weird. I'm sure that my classmates were wondering why I erased the thing before sitting down.
I really hope that doesn't mean anything.
~Alora
The first was really sort of stupid. I thought I saw you know who out of the corner of my eye...BUT it was just the tall weird kid from one of my classes. This had better not be a regular thing with him.
The second is...a little scarier.
So I enter one of the classrooms, happen to glance at the chalk board, and...insert heart attack here...there was an operator symbol on the board.
And this wasn't even a math class, where I could have waved it off as being a tensor product symbol. That and it was the only thing on the board, so even if I *was* in a math class it would still be weird. I'm sure that my classmates were wondering why I erased the thing before sitting down.
I really hope that doesn't mean anything.
~Alora
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Too Quiet
It's been really quiet ever since the other runner left. Not in a good way. More of a "calm before the storm" quiet. It's starting to freak me out.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get back to the uni and start classes again. Even endless amounts of reading and paper writings are better than sitting here and doing nothing.
That, and with what happened to Fizz and Jean...dammit. I hope they're okay. They'd better be okay. I've been praying like mad. God must be sick of me by now.
Please stay safe, guys.
~Alora
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get back to the uni and start classes again. Even endless amounts of reading and paper writings are better than sitting here and doing nothing.
That, and with what happened to Fizz and Jean...dammit. I hope they're okay. They'd better be okay. I've been praying like mad. God must be sick of me by now.
Please stay safe, guys.
~Alora
Monday, January 10, 2011
And Then Things Get Weirder
The other runner is gone. He left this evening. I can't say I blame him. Things got a little hairy on Saturday. You know who was popping up in broad daylight, still hovering around the other runner's house like a plague. Needless to say, so was I, which is part of the reason why I spent most of the day hiding in my room, reading, and trying not to have a meltdown.
The runner wasn't so fortunate. Saturday night he had to be dragged away from our front yard, where he was beating up one of the mini-trees by the house. It's a pretty skinny tree, and from a distance it probably would look like you know who. Still, you'd have to be a little crazy to completely confuse it for you know who. Then again, the other runner wasn't all there. And by "wasn't all there" I mean "absolutely screaming, raving nuts".
What really freaked me out was when I went outside to see what was going on. The runner looked right at me and started screaming, "You know! You've seen him too! You know and he's coming after you!"
I didn't sleep very well that night.
But this morning, the runner stopped by my house. He seemed perfectly sane, which was somehow creepier than him being insane.
The conversation (as near as I can remember it):
Runner: I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving.
Me: Uh...good?
Runner: I'm sorry about Saturday. I sort of lost it.
Me: It's okay. I mean, loosing it is perfectly understandable, all things considered.
Runner: Well, I just wanted to say "good luck". You're going to need it.
Me: Look, I told you, I'm not being followed by him. Honest.
Runner: But you've seen him. You know. You should be careful anyway.
Me: Well...thanks for the advice, I guess.
Runner: Well, that's all. Goodbye.
Me: Bye. [I closed the door, then remembered something and flung it back open] Wait! What's your...?
But it was too late. He was already gone.
I haven't seen you know who again since the other runner left, so I'm guessing he went after the other runner. The fact that my cold has let considerably supports this (if my theory about his prescience making it worse is correct, anyway).
I hope the other runner will be okay.
~Alora
Happiness Aid of the Day: Sing it with me now: Na na na na na na na na na na na...
The runner wasn't so fortunate. Saturday night he had to be dragged away from our front yard, where he was beating up one of the mini-trees by the house. It's a pretty skinny tree, and from a distance it probably would look like you know who. Still, you'd have to be a little crazy to completely confuse it for you know who. Then again, the other runner wasn't all there. And by "wasn't all there" I mean "absolutely screaming, raving nuts".
What really freaked me out was when I went outside to see what was going on. The runner looked right at me and started screaming, "You know! You've seen him too! You know and he's coming after you!"
I didn't sleep very well that night.
But this morning, the runner stopped by my house. He seemed perfectly sane, which was somehow creepier than him being insane.
The conversation (as near as I can remember it):
Runner: I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving.
Me: Uh...good?
Runner: I'm sorry about Saturday. I sort of lost it.
Me: It's okay. I mean, loosing it is perfectly understandable, all things considered.
Runner: Well, I just wanted to say "good luck". You're going to need it.
Me: Look, I told you, I'm not being followed by him. Honest.
Runner: But you've seen him. You know. You should be careful anyway.
Me: Well...thanks for the advice, I guess.
Runner: Well, that's all. Goodbye.
Me: Bye. [I closed the door, then remembered something and flung it back open] Wait! What's your...?
But it was too late. He was already gone.
I haven't seen you know who again since the other runner left, so I'm guessing he went after the other runner. The fact that my cold has let considerably supports this (if my theory about his prescience making it worse is correct, anyway).
I hope the other runner will be okay.
~Alora
Happiness Aid of the Day: Sing it with me now: Na na na na na na na na na na na...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Interesting...
Anyone who's seen my twitter may have noticed I had an indirect run-in with you know who yesterday. For those of you who haven't seen the tweets, here they are:
My first thought: He's not after me this time, oh thank God. My second: I have to talk to whoever he IS after.
But that would be awkward, because the particular house you know who seemed to be staking out is home to a large family, and I barely know any of them. It's not like I could just walk up to the door and ask, "Hey, any of you guys been stalked by a humanoid abomination lately?"
Anyway, today I happened to be looking out the window across the street when I noticed that the driveway had a line of operator symbols across it, right in front of the garage door. And one of said family members (one of the boys) was out there, drawing more of the things. I figured, hey, we're in the same boat, I should go talk to him. So I grab my coat and go across the street to see if he's in the mood for a chat.
The conversation was...interesting.
Me: Hi.
[The other runner (still don't know his name) ignores me entirely]
Me: ...Are you okay?
Runner: I'm fine.
Me: Are you sure? 'Cause that's a lot of Operator symbols. Don't you think that's overkill?
Runner: *eyes me suspiciously* How do you know about this?
Me: Welll...I just, uh...
Runner: Is he after you too?
Me: Well, he was but...look, are you okay? Do you need help?
Runner: *turns back to his operator symbols* I don't need your help.
Me: Are you sure? Because...
Runner: I don't need your help.
Me: Look, I saw...
Runner: *throws down his chalk and gets in my face* I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
[I'm assuming I made a sound closely resembling "meep" at this point.]
Me: I...well, I just saw him last night, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay, and...if you wanted any help...
Runner: No. I don't want help. I don't need help. [At this point he went back to his symbols] I'm going to leave in a few days. I'll be safe then. I just have to keep moving. I just have to keep moving.
[Once again, I found myself completely ignored]
Me: ...Are you sure you don't want any help? Because I know what you're going through...he was after me too a few weeks ago, and...
[About here I started coughing. As my blog/twitter followers know, I have a cold, so the coughing was completely unrelated to you know who...unfortunately, the runner didn't know that.]
Runner: *freaks out* What's wrong with you?
Me: I just...
Runner: He's following you too!
Me: I have a cold...
Runner: You brought him here!
Me: It's just a cold...
Runner: GET OFF OF MY LAWN! Just stay away from me! GO AWAY!!
I got out of there, fast. Seriously, that whole thing about runners sticking together and helping each other? Apparently, that never occurred to this dude. I'm guessing he's in the "paranoid" stage of insanity.
I'm facing a dilemma here. I don't want him to die, but I'm scared if I try to talk to him again, he'll kick my ass. And there is no way in hell I'm going directly after you know who to get him off that guy's back. No. Way. In hell.
I wish I could help, but I'm not sure there's anything I can do. What do you guys think? Should I do something, or hope for the best?
~Alora
P.S. You know how people say that you should stay upbeat and cheerful in an effort to stave off the insanity? Well, here. Have an adorable puppy. You'll thank me later. :)
Neighbor's dog started barking like nuts. Thought I saw someone walk around the corner of their house. I think the appropriate word is damn.
Oh hell. Oh hell he's outside. He's on the front lawn shit shit shit shit shit
Wait...wait, he's not looking in my window. He's looking across the street. The hell?
Freaking out here, but I'm not sure...I don't think he knows...hang on, tweet more in a second...
He's still there. Not watching me, watching the house across the street. Still really REALLY scared, though...
Okay, he left. Car went out of the driveway in the house across the street, I blink, poof. Gone. I think there's another runner here...
My first thought: He's not after me this time, oh thank God. My second: I have to talk to whoever he IS after.
But that would be awkward, because the particular house you know who seemed to be staking out is home to a large family, and I barely know any of them. It's not like I could just walk up to the door and ask, "Hey, any of you guys been stalked by a humanoid abomination lately?"
Anyway, today I happened to be looking out the window across the street when I noticed that the driveway had a line of operator symbols across it, right in front of the garage door. And one of said family members (one of the boys) was out there, drawing more of the things. I figured, hey, we're in the same boat, I should go talk to him. So I grab my coat and go across the street to see if he's in the mood for a chat.
The conversation was...interesting.
Me: Hi.
[The other runner (still don't know his name) ignores me entirely]
Me: ...Are you okay?
Runner: I'm fine.
Me: Are you sure? 'Cause that's a lot of Operator symbols. Don't you think that's overkill?
Runner: *eyes me suspiciously* How do you know about this?
Me: Welll...I just, uh...
Runner: Is he after you too?
Me: Well, he was but...look, are you okay? Do you need help?
Runner: *turns back to his operator symbols* I don't need your help.
Me: Are you sure? Because...
Runner: I don't need your help.
Me: Look, I saw...
Runner: *throws down his chalk and gets in my face* I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
[I'm assuming I made a sound closely resembling "meep" at this point.]
Me: I...well, I just saw him last night, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay, and...if you wanted any help...
Runner: No. I don't want help. I don't need help. [At this point he went back to his symbols] I'm going to leave in a few days. I'll be safe then. I just have to keep moving. I just have to keep moving.
[Once again, I found myself completely ignored]
Me: ...Are you sure you don't want any help? Because I know what you're going through...he was after me too a few weeks ago, and...
[About here I started coughing. As my blog/twitter followers know, I have a cold, so the coughing was completely unrelated to you know who...unfortunately, the runner didn't know that.]
Runner: *freaks out* What's wrong with you?
Me: I just...
Runner: He's following you too!
Me: I have a cold...
Runner: You brought him here!
Me: It's just a cold...
Runner: GET OFF OF MY LAWN! Just stay away from me! GO AWAY!!
I got out of there, fast. Seriously, that whole thing about runners sticking together and helping each other? Apparently, that never occurred to this dude. I'm guessing he's in the "paranoid" stage of insanity.
I'm facing a dilemma here. I don't want him to die, but I'm scared if I try to talk to him again, he'll kick my ass. And there is no way in hell I'm going directly after you know who to get him off that guy's back. No. Way. In hell.
I wish I could help, but I'm not sure there's anything I can do. What do you guys think? Should I do something, or hope for the best?
~Alora
P.S. You know how people say that you should stay upbeat and cheerful in an effort to stave off the insanity? Well, here. Have an adorable puppy. You'll thank me later. :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Wild Mass Guessing
Once again: breaking my own rule about Not Getting Involved With the Mythos. But I'm bored, I'm not feeling well (before you ask, NO it's not a cough, I'd be hiding in the corner with a knife and a rosary if it was), and I'm sick of feeling helpless. Anyway, on a lark I decided to go through the Wild Mass Guessing section of you know who's TV Tropes page and comment on some of the theories. Considering that we know next to nothing about you know who (and what little we do know varies from person to person/doesn't always work), I figured that I could at LEAST try to get some idea of what I'm dealing with. Knowledge is power, right?
You Know Who is Physically Stronger than a Human, But Just Barely
The troper who posted this justifies it by saying that could be how Evan (EverymanHYBRID) survived his assault on you know who, and as the reason why he traditionally goes after kids. They're too small to fight back/potentially hurt him. The troper(s) also point out that his real power is in his ability to manipulate reality. This theory makes sense in practice, but at the same time, I can't see him as ENTIRELY helpless against a physical attack. Maybe he "hulks up" when he goes into Combat Tentacle mode and becomes stronger? I dunno...
You Know Who Feeds on Fear
Oh, I believe this one. I swear, every time I was out in the dark the feeling of being stalked way always worse. I still think he goes after you when you're the most vulnerable, either by making you so himself, or popping up at the most inopportune moments. And if he doesn't feed on fear, he is at least very in-tune with it.
You Know Who's True Horror Comes From Collaboration
In the words of the troper who posted this, "With every new interpretation, he's given new powers and forms. With every new photoshop, he's given a new place to live. With every new background possibility, he's given a way to exist and a pattern to follow. We're watching him being born, and can do nothing to stop it." I actually have my own theory on this, but I'll get to this later.
You Know Who Has Always Existed, But His Days are Numbered
"He runs on Clap Your Hands If You Believe. Sooner or later, some redneck Munchkin is gonna come after him, believing he can kill him. It's Crazy Enough To Work." I really, really, REALLY hope this one is true.
You Know Who is Slowly Dying, Due to This Page
"If [you know who] was created by people thinking about it, then that would mean that its existence is shaped by people's perception of it. This WMG is giving different ideas about it, and each one is shaping it. But since the ideas are different, [you know who] is being pulled in multiple different directions, and will eventually die from it." Other theories related to this involve all the blogs and vlogs "stealing his essence" (whut?) and that, since he's basically chaos personified, defining him is only destroying him. This doesn't quite fit in my theory, but it might work. You never know.
You Know Who Was Not Created by the Something Awful Forums, He Already Existed and Took Form From Them
Wouldn't surprise me. Especially if you subscribe to the theory about him being a manifestation of something. Why not take on a pre-existing form like that?
You Know Who is Candle Jack
Hey, who knows, maybe they're working tog
Just kidding, I'm still here. :P
You Know Who Runs Entirely on "Clap Your Hands if You Believe"
And thus can be effected by Memetic Mutations. Maudin's experiments seem to prove this (see the 20 dollaz experiment).
You Know Who is The Game
This makes so much sense it's not even funny. Also, I just lost.
You Know Who Runs on the Inverse of Clap Your Hands if You Believe
"He only exists when we're thinking about him. Does that mean he needs our belief? Not really. What actually sustains [you know who] is our skepticism. Conscious disbelief despite what we've seen gives him power. That's why he allows the videos and blogs to surface; a bigger audience of people thinking this is all just a weird meme means he gets stronger. [...] Oh, and also? You in front of the computer? The one who thinks this is a fun little internet phenomenon? You're in more danger than anyone crazy enough to believe in him."
In the words of another troper who commented on this "...Oh, f**k you..."
You Know Who is Stronger During the Fall and Winter
Aside from Halloween and Solistice, yeah, I buy this. Probably has to do with all the dark. Let's face it, everyone is scared of the dark in some way (or rather, what's in the dark), and if he feeds on/senses fear, what better time of the year to be active?
Whatever You Know Who is, the, Well, Slender Men in Suits are His "Hands"
This is basically the center of my running theory. Think about it. There are all these theories and powers and such associated with the guy. You have multiple blogs/vlogs, each with a person being stalked by him or his associates, and then there's the whole "You Know Who from H(a)unting and the other You Know Who" thing. This is my theory: there's something much, much larger pulling the strings here. Call it a hive mind, Algo-Zay, a main You Know Who, the Devil, whatever. And, working for it, are multiple you know who's all operating under the same basic principles (appearance, basic powers, etc.) but with subtle differences. It explains H(a)unting, any "continuity" blips between blogs, everything. It explains how he can be manipulating two different bloggers (runners, whatevs) in two different states more or less at the same time. It even explains why initial results as to whether or not you know who was dead were inconclusive, and why I stopped feeling like I was being stalked not long after Solistice. There are more than one you know who's. They have the same basic goal (whatever the hell THAT is), and maybe even something of a hive mind (so that they'd know what that basic goal IS), but they're seperate entities. Some of them may have died or been badly injured during solistice, but there's still a bunch of them out there. You might think this means we're screwed, but hey, maybe they more of them there are, the weaker they get (like stretching too little butter over too much bread, or cloning degeneration). Anyway, this is just my theory. I may be completely wrong, but it makes sense to me.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
~Alora
P.S. I have a twitter account now...
You Know Who is Physically Stronger than a Human, But Just Barely
The troper who posted this justifies it by saying that could be how Evan (EverymanHYBRID) survived his assault on you know who, and as the reason why he traditionally goes after kids. They're too small to fight back/potentially hurt him. The troper(s) also point out that his real power is in his ability to manipulate reality. This theory makes sense in practice, but at the same time, I can't see him as ENTIRELY helpless against a physical attack. Maybe he "hulks up" when he goes into Combat Tentacle mode and becomes stronger? I dunno...
You Know Who Feeds on Fear
Oh, I believe this one. I swear, every time I was out in the dark the feeling of being stalked way always worse. I still think he goes after you when you're the most vulnerable, either by making you so himself, or popping up at the most inopportune moments. And if he doesn't feed on fear, he is at least very in-tune with it.
You Know Who's True Horror Comes From Collaboration
In the words of the troper who posted this, "With every new interpretation, he's given new powers and forms. With every new photoshop, he's given a new place to live. With every new background possibility, he's given a way to exist and a pattern to follow. We're watching him being born, and can do nothing to stop it." I actually have my own theory on this, but I'll get to this later.
You Know Who Has Always Existed, But His Days are Numbered
"He runs on Clap Your Hands If You Believe. Sooner or later, some redneck Munchkin is gonna come after him, believing he can kill him. It's Crazy Enough To Work." I really, really, REALLY hope this one is true.
You Know Who is Slowly Dying, Due to This Page
"If [you know who] was created by people thinking about it, then that would mean that its existence is shaped by people's perception of it. This WMG is giving different ideas about it, and each one is shaping it. But since the ideas are different, [you know who] is being pulled in multiple different directions, and will eventually die from it." Other theories related to this involve all the blogs and vlogs "stealing his essence" (whut?) and that, since he's basically chaos personified, defining him is only destroying him. This doesn't quite fit in my theory, but it might work. You never know.
You Know Who Was Not Created by the Something Awful Forums, He Already Existed and Took Form From Them
Wouldn't surprise me. Especially if you subscribe to the theory about him being a manifestation of something. Why not take on a pre-existing form like that?
You Know Who is Candle Jack
Hey, who knows, maybe they're working tog
Just kidding, I'm still here. :P
You Know Who Runs Entirely on "Clap Your Hands if You Believe"
And thus can be effected by Memetic Mutations. Maudin's experiments seem to prove this (see the 20 dollaz experiment).
You Know Who is The Game
This makes so much sense it's not even funny. Also, I just lost.
You Know Who Runs on the Inverse of Clap Your Hands if You Believe
"He only exists when we're thinking about him. Does that mean he needs our belief? Not really. What actually sustains [you know who] is our skepticism. Conscious disbelief despite what we've seen gives him power. That's why he allows the videos and blogs to surface; a bigger audience of people thinking this is all just a weird meme means he gets stronger. [...] Oh, and also? You in front of the computer? The one who thinks this is a fun little internet phenomenon? You're in more danger than anyone crazy enough to believe in him."
In the words of another troper who commented on this "...Oh, f**k you..."
You Know Who is Stronger During the Fall and Winter
Aside from Halloween and Solistice, yeah, I buy this. Probably has to do with all the dark. Let's face it, everyone is scared of the dark in some way (or rather, what's in the dark), and if he feeds on/senses fear, what better time of the year to be active?
Whatever You Know Who is, the, Well, Slender Men in Suits are His "Hands"
This is basically the center of my running theory. Think about it. There are all these theories and powers and such associated with the guy. You have multiple blogs/vlogs, each with a person being stalked by him or his associates, and then there's the whole "You Know Who from H(a)unting and the other You Know Who" thing. This is my theory: there's something much, much larger pulling the strings here. Call it a hive mind, Algo-Zay, a main You Know Who, the Devil, whatever. And, working for it, are multiple you know who's all operating under the same basic principles (appearance, basic powers, etc.) but with subtle differences. It explains H(a)unting, any "continuity" blips between blogs, everything. It explains how he can be manipulating two different bloggers (runners, whatevs) in two different states more or less at the same time. It even explains why initial results as to whether or not you know who was dead were inconclusive, and why I stopped feeling like I was being stalked not long after Solistice. There are more than one you know who's. They have the same basic goal (whatever the hell THAT is), and maybe even something of a hive mind (so that they'd know what that basic goal IS), but they're seperate entities. Some of them may have died or been badly injured during solistice, but there's still a bunch of them out there. You might think this means we're screwed, but hey, maybe they more of them there are, the weaker they get (like stretching too little butter over too much bread, or cloning degeneration). Anyway, this is just my theory. I may be completely wrong, but it makes sense to me.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
~Alora
P.S. I have a twitter account now...
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A New Year
It's a new year. Eleven days since solstice.
I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. My mind keeps whispering that the results were inconclusive, that you have no idea whether or not he's alive or dead, and even if he was dead, there's so much more out there, so much worse...
It's not just the dark I'm afraid of, though. I'm afraid I might loose my mind.
Confession time: this isn't the first time I've felt like this. It started back in November, when I first found out about this whole myth. I'm not going to say exactly what the myth is--I can't escape the feeling that if I even think his name, he'll find me--but if you read my first post, then you'll know what myth I'm talking about. I would be walking back from the library, from classes, whatever, and I'd sense...something. Watching me. Following me. I always shrugged it off. I've always been a bit paranoid, especially when the lights go out, but this time I couldn't escape the feeling that this was real. Something really was watching me.
But I didn't film myself. I didn't blog. I even avoided talking about it in my private writings, because facing what I thought it was would mean two things. One, that I was seriously considering that I was being followed by him, and that was a road that I didn't want to go down. Two, he might up the ante. All the people before me, they took videos, they blogged, they did whatever, and look where they ended up. I figured I might apply a reverse "Clap Your Hands if You Believe"--if I just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, like I wasn't afraid or didn't know he was there, then he would go away.
But I was afraid. Oh man, was I afraid.
Then, around solstice and Christmas...the feeling stopped. It wasn't just that I was on break and had moved away from my usual setting--the feeling was still there before, but in more of a "he's going to find you" sense then a "he's standing behind you" kind of way. But after the 21st, and especially around the 25th, I felt like he really was gone. That I was free. That there was nothing there and that I could live my life.
But the feeling started again on the 30th. And this time I'm really, really scared.
I know I'm breaking my own rule by blogging like this, but I have to. If I don't tell someone what's going on, then I'll go insane with or without his help. This blog is going to be a weekly log of what's happening to me, just so that someone, anyone, knows, and maybe can help me. I really hope one of you guys can help me.
I just realized that I never really introduced myself. My name is Alora. I would be your average girl if not for the fact that I'm an extreme nictophobe. For those of you who don't know, there's fear of the dark, and then there's me. I've had panic attacks, chronic nightmares, the whole nine yards. I still sleep with the lights on, and I'm not talking a wimpy nightlight. That don't cut it. We're talking desk lamp, with all the shades drawn so I don't have to see the darkness outside. We're talking having all the lights on in whatever space I happen to be in, especially during the fall and the winter. Summer is my favorite time of year, just because of the excess amounts of light. In fact, sometimes I think about moving to Alaska or something during the summer, during that stretch of time when the sun is out 24/7. I wish it was like that everywhere. I guess you could say my fear makes me prime bait for him, but I try not to think about it. That's basically my way of dealing. It's sort of stupid, but it helps.
Also, for those of you wondering what the heck "The Scarecrow Experiment" means, well, it's really just a stupid title I made up on the fly, but does have a back story. I have this habit of singing to myself when I'm scared to try and get my mind off of...whatever it is that happens to be freaking me out at the time. For some reason, towards the end of November, every time I got the feeling I was being followed by him, this same song would pop into my head:
I don't know if I just listened to this album too many times around the time the stalking got worse, or if my mind subconsciously linked by situation to the lyrics, but yeah. Scarecrow Exeperiment. Not S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W, because that would be blatant ripping-off, and I'm too lazy to type that every time anyway.
Anyway, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Here's hoping I don't loose my mind.
~Alora
I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. My mind keeps whispering that the results were inconclusive, that you have no idea whether or not he's alive or dead, and even if he was dead, there's so much more out there, so much worse...
It's not just the dark I'm afraid of, though. I'm afraid I might loose my mind.
Confession time: this isn't the first time I've felt like this. It started back in November, when I first found out about this whole myth. I'm not going to say exactly what the myth is--I can't escape the feeling that if I even think his name, he'll find me--but if you read my first post, then you'll know what myth I'm talking about. I would be walking back from the library, from classes, whatever, and I'd sense...something. Watching me. Following me. I always shrugged it off. I've always been a bit paranoid, especially when the lights go out, but this time I couldn't escape the feeling that this was real. Something really was watching me.
But I didn't film myself. I didn't blog. I even avoided talking about it in my private writings, because facing what I thought it was would mean two things. One, that I was seriously considering that I was being followed by him, and that was a road that I didn't want to go down. Two, he might up the ante. All the people before me, they took videos, they blogged, they did whatever, and look where they ended up. I figured I might apply a reverse "Clap Your Hands if You Believe"--if I just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, like I wasn't afraid or didn't know he was there, then he would go away.
But I was afraid. Oh man, was I afraid.
Then, around solstice and Christmas...the feeling stopped. It wasn't just that I was on break and had moved away from my usual setting--the feeling was still there before, but in more of a "he's going to find you" sense then a "he's standing behind you" kind of way. But after the 21st, and especially around the 25th, I felt like he really was gone. That I was free. That there was nothing there and that I could live my life.
But the feeling started again on the 30th. And this time I'm really, really scared.
I know I'm breaking my own rule by blogging like this, but I have to. If I don't tell someone what's going on, then I'll go insane with or without his help. This blog is going to be a weekly log of what's happening to me, just so that someone, anyone, knows, and maybe can help me. I really hope one of you guys can help me.
I just realized that I never really introduced myself. My name is Alora. I would be your average girl if not for the fact that I'm an extreme nictophobe. For those of you who don't know, there's fear of the dark, and then there's me. I've had panic attacks, chronic nightmares, the whole nine yards. I still sleep with the lights on, and I'm not talking a wimpy nightlight. That don't cut it. We're talking desk lamp, with all the shades drawn so I don't have to see the darkness outside. We're talking having all the lights on in whatever space I happen to be in, especially during the fall and the winter. Summer is my favorite time of year, just because of the excess amounts of light. In fact, sometimes I think about moving to Alaska or something during the summer, during that stretch of time when the sun is out 24/7. I wish it was like that everywhere. I guess you could say my fear makes me prime bait for him, but I try not to think about it. That's basically my way of dealing. It's sort of stupid, but it helps.
Also, for those of you wondering what the heck "The Scarecrow Experiment" means, well, it's really just a stupid title I made up on the fly, but does have a back story. I have this habit of singing to myself when I'm scared to try and get my mind off of...whatever it is that happens to be freaking me out at the time. For some reason, towards the end of November, every time I got the feeling I was being followed by him, this same song would pop into my head:
I don't know if I just listened to this album too many times around the time the stalking got worse, or if my mind subconsciously linked by situation to the lyrics, but yeah. Scarecrow Exeperiment. Not S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W, because that would be blatant ripping-off, and I'm too lazy to type that every time anyway.
Anyway, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Here's hoping I don't loose my mind.
~Alora
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