Laughing and Crying

Reasons why I'm crying:

1. I feel like shit right now. Have since yesterday. Headache, stomachache, whole nine yards. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or if he's doing this, but the fact still remains that I feel like shit.

2. I'm worried about Jeff and the fact that I'm sick is making me more emotional than usual.

3. He's safe. Thank God, he's okay.

Reason why I'm laughing:

Oh my bob. That was the stupidest thing he could have done. The STUPIDEST. Did you even DO your research?! Did you think first?!

My brother is a marine, you freaking retard. He was on a base FULL of marines. Did you really think you could get away with that?!

Okay, explanation time. I got a phone call from my brother (yes, I have a brother) like, five minutes ago. He said that some guy in his twenties wearing a mask jumped him at work this morning. Tried to knife him. And apparently didn't realize he was taking on our nation's finest. It still took two other guys to subdue him, but he got a righteous ass-kicking.

Chew on that, you ass-munching proxy.

And yes, that's what he was. Older Brother also mentioned that the guy went ballistic once they caught him, screaming something about the operator and gaining his master's love. He just thought the guy was nuts. I know better.

And here's what I don't get. Slender didn't need to go after my brother. Hell, I have an anxiety disorder that's making this whole thing 1000x worse. I know I'm putting on my brave face, but he must know how terrified I am. He doesn't need to go after people I know to break me. I'm not like you guys. He can break me all on his own. I admit this openly. So why go after my brother?

My current theory is that the proxy did it of his own volition. He mentioned earning his master's love, right? Maybe he thought that if he somehow hurt me through my brother, that would make Slender appreciate his services or something. Maybe he thought that they're just going after families now, after what happened to...

Dammit, I feel guilty now. I know there's no reason for it, but I do.

Jeff, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.

Anyway...the point is, I don't think it was part of Slender's "let's f*ck with Alora" plan. He doesn't have to go past me or this sphere of bloggers to do that. He knows that. Everything he's thrown at me (the symbols, the guy who might be an agent, watching me at night, the sickness or exploitation of it) says that he knows that. He just has to keep this up. If he feeds on fear, I'll be like a four-star restaurant. Add that to the fact that I worry about you guys, and a lot of you are going through hell...

My head hurts.

I might not be able to keep up the research for a while. I can link up some stuff under the "Archives" tab if you guys find anything you think should be put in there, but the timeline is on hold for now. In fact, I think a lot of my version of "research" (read: data collection) is going to be on hold. I'm having a hard enough time writing this post. I seriously feel like shit. I need a break. I'm sorry. Once I stop feeling like my head is going to explode, I'll be back. Promise.

Jeff...Jeff, I'll be praying for you, okay? I don't know how much stock you put in that, but I will. I'm so sorry. Don't be afraid to walk away from this for a while, okay? You need time to mourn. No one will blame you for it.

Stay safe, guys.

~Alora