Thursday, January 6, 2011


Anyone who's seen my twitter may have noticed I had an indirect run-in with you know who yesterday. For those of you who haven't seen the tweets, here they are:

Neighbor's dog started barking like nuts. Thought I saw someone walk around the corner of their house. I think the appropriate word is damn.

Oh hell. Oh hell he's outside. He's on the front lawn shit shit shit shit shit

Wait...wait, he's not looking in my window. He's looking across the street. The hell?

Freaking out here, but I'm not sure...I don't think he knows...hang on, tweet more in a second...

He's still there. Not watching me, watching the house across the street. Still really REALLY scared, though...

Okay, he left. Car went out of the driveway in the house across the street, I blink, poof. Gone. I think there's another runner here...

My first thought: He's not after me this time, oh thank God. My second: I have to talk to whoever he IS after.

But that would be awkward, because the particular house you know who seemed to be staking out is home to a large family, and I barely know any of them. It's not like I could just walk up to the door and ask, "Hey, any of you guys been stalked by a humanoid abomination lately?"

Anyway, today I happened to be looking out the window across the street when I noticed that the driveway had a line of operator symbols across it, right in front of the garage door. And one of said family members (one of the boys) was out there, drawing more of the things. I figured, hey, we're in the same boat, I should go talk to him. So I grab my coat and go across the street to see if he's in the mood for a chat.

The conversation was...interesting.

Me: Hi.

[The other runner (still don't know his name) ignores me entirely]

Me: ...Are you okay?

Runner: I'm fine.

Me: Are you sure? 'Cause that's a lot of Operator symbols. Don't you think that's overkill?

Runner: *eyes me suspiciously* How do you know about this?

Me: Welll...I just, uh...

Runner: Is he after you too?

Me: Well, he was but...look, are you okay? Do you need help?

Runner: *turns back to his operator symbols* I don't need your help.

Me: Are you sure? Because...

Runner: I don't need your help.

Me: Look, I saw...

Runner: *throws down his chalk and gets in my face* I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

[I'm assuming I made a sound closely resembling "meep" at this point.]

Me: I...well, I just saw him last night, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay, and...if you wanted any help...

Runner: No. I don't want help. I don't need help. [At this point he went back to his symbols] I'm going to leave in a few days. I'll be safe then. I just have to keep moving. I just have to keep moving.

[Once again, I found myself completely ignored]

Me: ...Are you sure you don't want any help? Because I know what you're going through...he was after me too a few weeks ago, and...

[About here I started coughing. As my blog/twitter followers know, I have a cold, so the coughing was completely unrelated to you know who...unfortunately, the runner didn't know that.]

Runner: *freaks out* What's wrong with you?

Me: I just...

Runner: He's following you too!

Me: I have a cold...

Runner: You brought him here!

Me: It's just a cold...

Runner: GET OFF OF MY LAWN! Just stay away from me! GO AWAY!!

I got out of there, fast. Seriously, that whole thing about runners sticking together and helping each other? Apparently, that never occurred to this dude. I'm guessing he's in the "paranoid" stage of insanity.

I'm facing a dilemma here. I don't want him to die, but I'm scared if I try to talk to him again, he'll kick my ass. And there is no way in hell I'm going directly after you know who to get him off that guy's back. No. Way. In hell.

I wish I could help, but I'm not sure there's anything I can do. What do you guys think? Should I do something, or hope for the best?


P.S. You know how people say that you should stay upbeat and cheerful in an effort to stave off the insanity? Well, here. Have an adorable puppy. You'll thank me later. :)

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