Monday, January 3, 2011

Wild Mass Guessing

Once again: breaking my own rule about Not Getting Involved With the Mythos. But I'm bored, I'm not feeling well (before you ask, NO it's not a cough, I'd be hiding in the corner with a knife and a rosary if it was), and I'm sick of feeling helpless. Anyway, on a lark I decided to go through the Wild Mass Guessing section of you know who's TV Tropes page and comment on some of the theories. Considering that we know next to nothing about you know who (and what little we do know varies from person to person/doesn't always work), I figured that I could at LEAST try to get some idea of what I'm dealing with. Knowledge is power, right?

You Know Who is Physically Stronger than a Human, But Just Barely
The troper who posted this justifies it by saying that could be how Evan (EverymanHYBRID) survived his assault on you know who, and as the reason why he traditionally goes after kids. They're too small to fight back/potentially hurt him. The troper(s) also point out that his real power is in his ability to manipulate reality. This theory makes sense in practice, but at the same time, I can't see him as ENTIRELY helpless against a physical attack. Maybe he "hulks up" when he goes into Combat Tentacle mode and becomes stronger? I dunno...

You Know Who Feeds on Fear
Oh, I believe this one. I swear, every time I was out in the dark the feeling of being stalked way always worse. I still think he goes after you when you're the most vulnerable, either by making you so himself, or popping up at the most inopportune moments. And if he doesn't feed on fear, he is at least very in-tune with it.

You Know Who's True Horror Comes From Collaboration
In the words of the troper who posted this, "With every new interpretation, he's given new powers and forms. With every new photoshop, he's given a new place to live. With every new background possibility, he's given a way to exist and a pattern to follow. We're watching him being born, and can do nothing to stop it." I actually have my own theory on this, but I'll get to this later.

You Know Who Has Always Existed, But His Days are Numbered
"He runs on Clap Your Hands If You Believe. Sooner or later, some redneck Munchkin is gonna come after him, believing he can kill him. It's Crazy Enough To Work." I really, really, REALLY hope this one is true.

You Know Who is Slowly Dying, Due to This Page
"If [you know who] was created by people thinking about it, then that would mean that its existence is shaped by people's perception of it. This WMG is giving different ideas about it, and each one is shaping it. But since the ideas are different, [you know who] is being pulled in multiple different directions, and will eventually die from it." Other theories related to this involve all the blogs and vlogs "stealing his essence" (whut?) and that, since he's basically chaos personified, defining him is only destroying him. This doesn't quite fit in my theory, but it might work. You never know.

You Know Who Was Not Created by the Something Awful Forums, He Already Existed and Took Form From Them
Wouldn't surprise me. Especially if you subscribe to the theory about him being a manifestation of something. Why not take on a pre-existing form like that?

You Know Who is Candle Jack
Hey, who knows, maybe they're working tog

Just kidding, I'm still here. :P

You Know Who Runs Entirely on "Clap Your Hands if You Believe"
And thus can be effected by Memetic Mutations. Maudin's experiments seem to prove this (see the 20 dollaz experiment).

You Know Who is The Game
This makes so much sense it's not even funny. Also, I just lost.

You Know Who Runs on the Inverse of Clap Your Hands if You Believe
"He only exists when we're thinking about him. Does that mean he needs our belief? Not really. What actually sustains [you know who] is our skepticism. Conscious disbelief despite what we've seen gives him power. That's why he allows the videos and blogs to surface; a bigger audience of people thinking this is all just a weird meme means he gets stronger. [...] Oh, and also? You in front of the computer? The one who thinks this is a fun little internet phenomenon? You're in more danger than anyone crazy enough to believe in him."

In the words of another troper who commented on this "...Oh, f**k you..."

You Know Who is Stronger During the Fall and Winter
Aside from Halloween and Solistice, yeah, I buy this. Probably has to do with all the dark. Let's face it, everyone is scared of the dark in some way (or rather, what's in the dark), and if he feeds on/senses fear, what better time of the year to be active?

Whatever You Know Who is, the, Well, Slender Men in Suits are His "Hands"
This is basically the center of my running theory. Think about it. There are all these theories and powers and such associated with the guy. You have multiple blogs/vlogs, each with a person being stalked by him or his associates, and then there's the whole "You Know Who from H(a)unting and the other You Know Who" thing. This is my theory: there's something much, much larger pulling the strings here. Call it a hive mind, Algo-Zay, a main You Know Who, the Devil, whatever. And, working for it, are multiple you know who's all operating under the same basic principles (appearance, basic powers, etc.) but with subtle differences. It explains H(a)unting, any "continuity" blips between blogs, everything. It explains how he can be manipulating two different bloggers (runners, whatevs) in two different states more or less at the same time. It even explains why initial results as to whether or not you know who was dead were inconclusive, and why I stopped feeling like I was being stalked not long after Solistice. There are more than one you know who's. They have the same basic goal (whatever the hell THAT is), and maybe even something of a hive mind (so that they'd know what that basic goal IS), but they're seperate entities. Some of them may have died or been badly injured during solistice, but there's still a bunch of them out there. You might think this means we're screwed, but hey, maybe they more of them there are, the weaker they get (like stretching too little butter over too much bread, or cloning degeneration). Anyway, this is just my theory. I may be completely wrong, but it makes sense to me.

Hope you guys are all doing well.


P.S. I have a twitter account now...


  1. Thank you for this. I needed to hear these.



  2. You're welcome. :) Do you have any ideas or theories? I figure the more we try and figure this out, the more we can try and solve this. Maybe even kill you know who (or the multiple versions of him, if my theory is right...).