one: happy easter. glad to be alive.

two: yeah, we know about the computer. alora kept booting me off every three seconds to read the comments people are leaving. it's...pretty surreal.

three: the self-mind reading was a success and...

and i know now.

i know why i ended up like this.

it was in there, locked up. i mean that literally. when i...went inside my own mind, i don't know what you'd call it, i was in a room. it was a disaster. there were boxes everywhere, some opened and dumped over, some closed, all stacked haphazardly. there was dust everywhere, and the walls were covered in writing.

i'm not crazy. i'm not a monster. open the box open the box. don't open the box. he is coming. he will find you.

the handwriting was my own. i guess i'm crazier than i thought.

but i wasn't the only one there, because when i looked up from the writing on the walls...

he was there.

and the man in red.

and i was there. except it was me before all of this, with no scars and a voice. other me had a rope around his neck, not that he showed any signs he wanted to run away. he was just sitting on the ground, writing on the walls more. muttering.

hello daniel

i remembered that voice.

there's something we want to show you daniel

and the man in red handed me a key.

i wasn't sure i wanted to take it. if he wanted me to see it, it must be bad. but then other me looked at me. met my eyes and nodded.

i took the key.

the key opened one of the boxes, and in the box was a memory.

i had been investigating a series of murders in my town. the murders i remembered before...we had no idea who was responsible. we just thought it was another human being. a very sick human being, granted, but a human nonetheless.

we didn't have any leads. then i received the note.

the tutorial. getuphigh.blogspot.com

that was when it started. i read so many of the blogs. some of the people i know now...dreams in darkness...that's how i knew their names, scott. it was that blog that made me realize this wasn't just a game.

i had two theories. one, someone had also read these blogs and decided it would be fun to play slender man.

the other...

well, maybe this was real.

of course, i didn't tell anyone about that theory. how could i? if i walked up to the police chief and announced that i thought the murders were being performed by an eldritch abomination that shouldn't exist, i would be laughed out of the station. i didn't even tell alice.

i was about to tell the others about the first theory, when i received another message. this time it was a voice message, telling me to meet him at this old cabin near some woods. i did the stupid thing and went by myself. i was a bit of a moron back then.

but i didn't really know what i was dealing with. i mean...i knew what slender man was, i knew about his mooks, and i knew what both were capable of. but i wasn't quite willing to believe it was real. not entirely.

when i went to the location, i met him for the first time. a man in a red sweater, standing in the darkest corner of the room.

he said his name was redlight.

he told me that it was slender man who was killing those people, and that they weren't important. i was the one he wanted to talk to. he told me that i had certain abilities. i know what he was talking about now, but at the time i thought he was just talking out his ass. then he told me that he was like me. and there were other redlights like me. not many, but they existed. and he wanted me to work for them.

he wanted me to be a redlight.

i turned him down, partially because i thought the entire thing was bullshit, and partially because i knew what redlight could do, and i wasn't going to be a part of it. i went to leave and when i turned around...

he was there. slender man, in the flesh. everything seemed to stop. i couldn't move, i could barely breathe. and let me tell you, he did not look happy, but his anger was directed at redlight. redlight was talking to slender man, and i don't remember all of what he said because i wasn't paying attention. i was torn between panicking and trying to figure out how to get out of there. but before i could figure anything out, slender man was looking at me. and i heard his voice in my head: you will join me

come to me

and...i wanted to.

he was terrifying and repulsive and i knew what he had done, but i wanted to. i wanted to join him. i even took a few steps towards him.

but--and i don't know how i did this--i snapped out of it. i actually pulled out my gun and told him i wasn't going anywhere with him. i think i may have said that he was under arrest, because that would explain why redlight started laughing.

slender man did it again, but this time he pushed harder. come to me, child

i remember walking towards him, even though i didn't want to. i was inches from him when i managed to make my feet stop. i looked up into his blank face. i...i can't remember ever being more scared...ever. there was really only one thing left i could do: shoot the bastard.

i might as well have shot a rock for all the good it did, but i shot him. and he wasn't pleased by that.

when i woke up, i was tied to some chair. redlight was there...although it may have been a different redlight, i don't know. he looked shorter. it was hard to tell. my head hurt like hell. "so," said redlight, "are you going to reconsider our offer?"

my response: "you're going to get in a lot of trouble for this."

"that's what you think, daniel. now answer the question."

"that's officer smith to you. and the answer is no."

redlight pulled out a knife. "i don't think you fully understand the gravity of the situation. you can either join us, or you can suffer the consequences. so, what's it going to be?"

"my answer's the same. now let me go."

redlight pressed the knife against my face. it was so sharp that i didn't realize it'd pierced the skin until i felt blood drip down my face. "this is your last chance, 'officer'. join us, or what happens to you next will be your own fault."

"...no."

there was a few seconds of silence. i thought i was going to die.

i almost wish he had just killed me.

what happened after was...blurry. but i know that he started with my face, carving the operator symbol into it, then...a needle, thread, pulling my mouth shut so i couldn't scream. then they moved on to my hands. there was a lot of blood...but...it got worse. so much worse. because my memories were next and...

i...can't even describe...

it was worse than all the pain. it was worse than the fear. it was even worse than what happened with slender man earlier in the month. i was...i was helpless, completely helpless...

i was losing myself.

and then everything went dark, and i was standing in the room again. slender man was still there, and so was redlight and other me. before i could ask why they'd shown me that, i was suddenly bombarded with memories. the things i've had to do since i met alora. the proxies i killed. the fact that i had to wipe her mind.

and other things i've done. before, i didn't know i had powers, but i was still able to use them unconsciously. i'd...i'd manipulated people. i...i even used them on alice once. i didn't know, but still i did that.

when it was over, redlight spoke: "that is why we approached you, daniel. you are more like us than you're willing to admit. you belong with us. you just needed a little...initiative to see that.

"the offer is still open. you can join us, daniel. you should join us."

slender man said nothing.

and i actually considered the offer.

because...i really believed him.

and then i remembered what all of you said. and i remembered what redlight had done to me. and then i got pissed. and it just so happens that yes, i can randomly summon weapons while in my own mind, because (as alora put it when i told her about it), "it's my f*cking mind, i can do what i want. bitch."

i took out redlight first--crowbar to the head, and it felt a lot better than it should. but when i turned, slender man wasn't there. he was standing on the other side of the room, just looking at me.

so be it

and then he left.

it was just me and other me. when i turned to face him, he was smiling.

and then i woke up.

what i learned from this situation:

1. i am a moron.

2. slender man kept me alive because he wanted to see if he could use me.

3. since i refused him, he will probably focus on killing me now.

4. i dislike having these powers more than ever now.

5. knowing what happened to me doesn't make things any easier. but at least i know.

sorry about the massive post. a lot of things happened.

and you know what? i actually feel better. i don't know why, but i do. if nothing else, i know that i can resist in some way.

but i think things got a lot more dangerous.

-daniel