Sunday, March 20, 2011


1) The Chester and Vivi situation.

Hell. Bloody mothereffing HELL.

I didn't vote. I couldn't vote. I couldn't...I can't decide people's fates like that. I just...


It looks like they're just going to have their minds wiped of this Slender shit, which is in a way a good thing, but...Stella's going to be alone now and God only knows if H will keep his word, I know Daniel doesn't trust him because I told him about it and the second thing he said to me all day was "can't let him do that. no. can't. he'll just violate their minds like they did mine. he's a redlight wanna be, i know what that (those) bastard(s) are capable of." Granted, that might just be him being paranoid, but still I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do.

...And it turns out I don't have to know. It was decided as I was writing this. Vivi and Chester...they're not going to remember.

If H keeps his word, I'll actually be happy for them. They can walk away from all this now. Hopefully forever.

Stella...if you need anything, I'm here.

2) The Reach Revelation, as I'm calling it. Basically, all this stuff about Conduits and Renevants is all in our heads. None of it is actually real, just illusion.

I only half-agree. Some of it is probably fake. I can see that happening. Smoke and mirrors, stuff to keep us focusing on fighting each other and not on...I dunno, the Big Important Thing that's holding this entire effed-up situation in place. Whatever. But...I can't say that all of it is fake. Like Redlight. Even Daniel. I know, Reach would probably argue that he's just nuts but for the love of heaven and earth, he manipulated my parents. They aren't involved, they don't know. How could he have done that?

Honestly, my theory is that maybe there are some people who can do stuff like that and all the others are out of their minds. And to be honest, it makes me feel a hell of a lot safer about Minecraft Creeper. Maybe I'll get lucky, he'll just have delusions of grandeur, and I'll actually be able to fight back if I have to.

One can hope.

3) The Daniel situation. He's said exactly three (wait, four) things to me today. And the first one was telling me to leave him alone. The third was that he wasn't hungry. And the fourth: "they're gone now. if he did anything..."

He didn't finish the sentence. I'm not sure I wanted to know what he was thinking of saying.

He's gotten really scary lately. I know he'd never hurt me, but I don't trust him not to do something stupid.

And I saw his last post. And yelled at him about it. No response, of course. I'm reaching the end of my rope, here. I'm tired, scared, upset, frustrated, and there should just be a general word for what I'm feeling right now because I don't want to keep listing emotions.

F*ck this. I'm going to bed.


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