Saturday, March 19, 2011

dear dreamer

she didn't leave me alone last night. sat down in the closet and said she wasn't going away until i talked to her. fell asleep there. i had to carry her to her bed.

stupid alora. stupid, persistent, stubborn alora. god bless you, you don't know when to quit, do you?

it doesn't matter that you took the pictures away. i still have the memories. taunting me. running through my head and reminding me that i can never be that happy again. pointing out the gaping hole where they used to be. my family...friends...alice...

she would've liked you. you're both so stubborn. never took "no" for an answer.

i miss her. i miss her so much.

alora, i know you want to help, but i don't want your help right now. i don't want to talk. you shouldn't have to worry about me. you still have your family. you're leaving soon. spend time with them. they're what's important. not me.

to everyone else...thank you for your concern, but...

i don't want to talk about it right now.


  1. It's okay, d. We're here, and Alora is here, if you need us. It'll hurt. But you're strong. You can get through this...

  2. Daniel, let me tell you something.

    You keep saying that you can never reach the level of happiness you had before, and maybe that's true. Maybe your old life had something amazingly special that can never be recaptured. And that's okay. It's okay to remember that, to remember them, with fondness and regret.

    But it is NEVER okay to let their memory keep you from getting up again.

    Suppose you just had the best-tasting meal in the world. Everything about it was perfect, you wished it would never end. And then it was over. Would you thereafter refuse to eat ANYTHING because you knew nothing would ever taste that good? I certainly hope not, because the only thing that would lead to is your death. And then Alora would be all on her own, left to face the Slender Man by herself.

    I'm sorry for your loss, Daniel. So, so sorry. You've more than earned the right to mourn them, but... don't shut everyone else out. Don't let it consume you. The real world awaits, and you have people now, here, who need you just as much as you need them.