steam of consciousness #1

for the record, i refuse to get a diary, but if i don't write this stuff down my head will explode. so here it goes.

the door remains locked at all times. safety measure. really the only one we've got, aside from the fact that there are other people in this building who would notice if anything weird happened. hopefully. they've been pretty oblivious to my presence.

alora's calming down now, but she takes her pepper spray everywhere, and this pocket knife her brother gave her. she keeps talking about taking self-defense courses sometime. really, it's the best thing she could do. won't do much good against him, but if zero or redlight or anyone else comes after us, she should be prepared.

i'm still going to kill zero if he gets near her.

i think the problem is that i never knew him. you all knew him. he was important to you. not to me. to me he's just a threat to someone important to me.

and no, it's not like that at all. i don't feel anything for her like that. she's...well, she saved my life. she's helped me in so many ways...i owe her so much. she's like my sister.

to be honest my heart still belongs to...

is that stupid?

more memories are coming back. filling in the blanks. she was a waitress at a diner. that's how we met. i wouldn't say it was love at first sight but...well, infatuation, at least on my part. i still have no idea what she thought of me at first.

we used to go to the park and sit on the swings. i always felt kind of stupid doing it, but she loved those swings.

does she still go there?

does she miss me at all?

i don't know.

i wish that i could just stop thinking about it, but whenever i'm alone, this is what my mind does. it wanders. goes back to all the places i don't want it to go.

i still don't remember how or why i ended up like this. not sure i want to. it would explain a lot, though.

modern pop music makes no sense. i only know this because i can't find anything else. forget slenderman, i think i'll go insane from hearing "like a g6" again first. what does that even mean?! (alora doesn't know either.)

anyway.

alora needs the computer.

i'll see you guys around.

-daniel